Tag Archives: chickens

What Is On My Mind Today? I Already Wrote A Story About My Cancer Battle…….The Hen Who Wanted To Fly

I have many times been told that I should write a story about my struggle with cancer.  I did several years ago. This one. The Hen Who Wanted To Fly.  So, today I have spent the entire day, instead of baking and wrapping gifts, being my own editor.

I am the hen, chickens are humanity, the farmer is God, and the weasel is cancer.  The ducklings are the young people mentored through the years who grow up to care for us….nurses, doctors…the scientists who dream up new treatments.

It is important to note, that the part about the hen hatching out the orphaned wild duck eggs is true.  That actually happened on our farm. Our poor old hen completely panicked  the first time she saw her “babies” swim.

Little known Pat fact:  For two summers when I worked for Democratic Secretary of State Mark Ritchie, I was on Lieutenant Governor Carol Molnau’s State Fair Celebrity Ag Team.  I competed in animal calling.  I was reserve grand champion both years.  Finishing second both times to the the entire Department of Agriculture Team.  My ribbons are huge!

The first year, I called in the cows.  The second year, I was the wildly clucking hysterical hen whose babies went swimming.

 

Children’s Story: The Hen Who Wanted To Fly

Once upon a time there was a farmer.  On his farm lived many different kinds of animals.  He was a kind farmer and was always very good to his animals for he loved them very much.

As fond as he was of all of his animals, he had a special fondness for his chickens. The farmer really liked chickens.  Of all of his chickens his favorite was an old hen named Henrietta.

Henrietta had been on his farm for many years, in fact she was the oldest chicken in his flock. In her youth she had been a very good egg layer and mother to the many chicks she had hatched.  She was almost always friendly to the other chickens, even when some of them had not been so friendly to her.  She was never the prettiest, or the smartest hen in the farmer’s flock, nor was she the most popular hen in the coop, but Henrietta was okay with all that, because she knew she was special.  She had a secret that made her different than all the other chickens.

What was her secret?  Henrietta wanted to fly.

Many times she had practiced flapping her wings and running as fast as she could across the chicken yard attempting to fly over the chicken coop fence, but she never could get off the ground.  Practice makes perfect she figured, so she just kept trying until time caught up with her and she had to admit she was no longer a plucky pullet, but a large old hen.

The many changes of nature to her mechanics, did not diminish her dream of chicken flight.  When she became a mother she decided that if she could not fly, maybe her chicks could be the first chickens to take flight. Regardless, of the countless hours of wing flapping and running while wing flapping, none of her chicks ever achieved lift off.

Many years passed by.  Now, in old age Henrietta would sit outside the chicken coop on warm summer days lost in memories.  She no longer laid eggs or mothered chicks, but spent most of her time dreaming about the good old days.  Those golden days when she was needed by the farmer and greatly loved by her chicks.  Day after day she felt less and less useful as she watched pretty perky pullets flirting with the roosters and young hens mothering their new chicks.

Then, she would hear them.  The great flocks of wild birds on wing overhead. Her eyes would dart heavenward to watch them fly over. She had long ago accepted that neither she nor her offspring would ever join any of those great flocks and that her dream of flying would never be realized, but dream about it…she still did.

It was there daydreaming on her empty nest one fine morning that the farmer found her. He grinned and showed her that his hat was filled with brown speckled eggs. “Henrietta, old girl, have I got a job for you!” the farmer exclaimed.  He then gently took the eggs out of his hat and placed them under his old trusty hen.

Of all of the hens in the coop he chosen her to hatch these strangely colored eggs for him. Henrietta heart swelled with emotion as her eyes filled with tears..the farmer still needed her.

Henrietta knew exactly what to do with a nest full of warm eggs and was as devoted to those orphaned eggs as she would have been to her own.  She kept them cozy and warm and made sure that she turned them with her feet on a regular basis so that they would not get any cold spots.  For over two weeks that old hen sat on those twelve brown speckled eggs.

Then, one morning she heard a tiny peep coming out from one of those eggs.  Jumping off the nest Henrietta watched as egg after egg started to crack and small fuzzy yellow and black creatures began to emerge.  Turning her head from side to side she checked out her new brood. These were the strangest looking chicks she had ever seen, but it did not matter to her a bit, because the farmer had given them especially to her!  She was their mother, they were her chicks and she thought them beautiful.

As soon as her babies were dry and fluffy and she had them jump out of the nest and follow her outside into the chicken yard.  Holding her head high, she led her new babies out to meet the rest of the flock.

It didn’t go well. The other chickens, being chickens, crowded together and began to cackle with alarm about Henrietta and her strange looking family.

Frightened fowl often make foul choices and these chickens were no exception to that rule.  They quickly decided that their precious small-beaked yellow chicks should have nothing to do with those odd looking creatures of Henrietta’s.  The other hens immediately resorted to malicious clucking and gathering of their babies under their wings to prevent them from even seeing, let alone associating, with birds that were obviously of a different feather.

The farmer heard the commotion in the chicken coop and knew right away what the ruckus was about.  Henrietta’s eggs had hatched!  He raced to see Henrietta’s new babies.  All twelve of the eggs he had entrusted to her had hatched.  What a picture greeted him!  A proud Henrietta strutting through the chicken yard with her twelve new ducklings in a straight line trailing behind her.

Now Henrietta did not know that her babies were ducklings, she just knew they were her babies, but the farmer knew.  The morning he had put the eggs in her nest, he had been in a field harvesting.  There in the bright green field had lain a dead mother duck.  A victim of a weasel attack. When the farmer had lifted the young lifeless mother duck off of the nest, she had lost her life defending, he had found the twelve eggs.

Quickly, the farmer checked the eggs to see if they were still warm.  They were!  At that moment, the he knew that he could make some good come from such bad. He gathered the eggs gently into his hat and raced for home.

The farmer knew that of all of the hens on his farm, it was Henrietta that he trusted to hatch those eggs and raise wild ducklings.  He knew her to be a very good mother, and about her secret wish to fly.

Many a time he had enjoyed watching her trying to fly or attempting to teach her chicks to fly.  As entertaining as her antics were to observe, he had no fear of Henrietta ever “flying the coop”.   First of all, the farmer knew, even if she did not, that big strong hens cannot fly.  He also knew from extensive chicken exposure and experience that there was no more loyal of a hen than old Henrietta.

Here is where the story begins to get a little crazy for Henrietta.  She knew very well how to raise chicks, but she did not know a thing about baby ducks.  She did not even know that her new babies were ducks. She just figured the eggs had belonged to a big round-nosed chicken with funny looking feet.

At first the ducklings behaved just like baby chicks.  They peeped a lot and stayed close to their mother as they ate bugs in the grass.  Everything was going swell until the day of the big summer storm.

This storm was a banger.  It was loud, windy and wet.  It was so windy and wet that the fence to the chicken yard blew down, and the road ditches near the coop had filled with water.

During the storm, Henrietta’s babies had been all tucked safely beneath her.  Her soft downy feathers kept them warm and dry.  For,  Henrietta knew how very important it was to keep young chicks dry.  They get very sick if they get wet. Then, too, loose, energized or deep water is perilous for chickens, because chickens cannot swim anymore than they can fly.

Henrietta saw nothing, but danger in the situation left behind by the storm.  Not only was the fence down, but worse and worse, the road ditch next to the downed fence was flooded to the brim.

As the mighty red rooster let out his ear-splitting universal barnyard chickens in danger of drowning warning, Henrietta sprang into action, but before she could corral any of her youngsters, all of her babies took perfect leave of their senses and made a dash for the deep water in the ditch.

Hysterical Hen.!

One right after the other of her babies jumped into what Henrietta knew would be certain death. She began to run around in circles frantically flapping her wings loudly cackling, “Bakk, bakk, bakk!”  The other chicken’s saw her misfortune and they too joined in the chorus of, “Bakk, bakk, bakk!”  Soon, the whole barnyard was in an uproar.

Henrietta stopped running in circles and covered both of her eyes with her wings.  She just couldn’t bear to look at her drowned dead baby chicks, but she knew she must!

Slowly she opened one eye and peaked out through her wing-tip feathers. To her amazement her chicks were swimming around having the best time of their lives.  Why a couple of them were even diving under the water.  She quickly regained her composure, smoothed down her ruffled feathers and proudly informed the rest of the flock that HER babies can swim!

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Every day from that day on the farmer let Henrietta and her babies roam loose on the farm.  They were no longer penned up with the other chickens.

Oh, the adventures they had.  They explored the dark woods and scratched the dirt with their feet for worms.  Henrietta taught them how to eat grain in the farmer’s fields and chase and catch bugs in the meadow. Each day ended with a swim for her babies in either the flooded ditch or the farm’s small pond.

Henrietta’s babies grew stronger day by day.  Soon, their downy fluff was gone and they were all feathered out.  They liked to test out their new feathers by fanning their tails and yes, flapping their wings.

Of course the flapping of wings had always been one of Henrietta’s great thrills.  Even at her ripe old age she still dreamed of learning to fly.  Many times the farmer would see her racing her babies across the barnyard.  Wings flapping and running as fast as her feet could go with all of her babies following her in hot pursuit.

Summer passed quickly, as it always does, and the leaves on the trees began to turn colors.  The weather had grown colder and Henrietta and her babies no longer roamed as far from the barnyard as they had during the long warm days of summer.

Darkness came early this time of year and with darkness came danger for farm chickens.  At night weasels came out and their favorite snack was fresh chicken.

Weasel

Every night the farmer would lock up all of his chickens, except Henrietta and her brood, inside the warm well lit hen house. Henrietta began to wonder if the farmer had either forgotten about or no longer cared about what happened to her or her babies.   So, Henrietta looked out for her family herself and found safe harbor at night inside the big barn with the cows.

It been a particularly lovely fall day and Henrietta and her ducklings had dallied too long down by the pond.  By the time they arrived back at the farm that evening they found  the doors to the barn were shut.

Well, now, this was trouble.  Henrietta knew how dangerous it was for a chicken to be alone out in the night unfarmer protected. Since, there was no way to get into the barn, she decided the safest place to sleep would be right next to the lighted hen house.

That is where the weasel found her.

She spotted the weasel slinking in the shadows silently slithering towards her and her babies.  Weasels are quick nasty little varmints that can easily outrun a chicken. Clearly her babies’ lives were in danger!

Henrietta’s only thought was to save her babies.

Henrietta quickly told them to…..RUN!

As she bravely faced death and the weasel, behind her she could hear the rush of air through her babies’ wings as they flapped them to increase their getaway speed as they ran.  Just like they had done so many times in play when Henrietta had raced across the barnyard with them chasing her as she pretended they could all fly.

After making sure her babies had escaped, Henrietta attacked the weasel with all her might! She ran at him as fast as she could go flailing her wings as hard as she could and ready to peck his eyes out, if given the chance, with her sharp beak.  She knew that there was every chance that the weasel would win and her life would be forfeit, but she was determined to go down fighting.

Just as the weasel was ready to pounce on Henrietta to finish her off, a large shadow passed over.  Then, she felt herself being lifted up into the air.

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Higher and higher she went.  She was flying! Her babies were flying! Chickens cannot fly?  It was then that she finally accepted that her babies were not swimming chickens at all…but were wild ducks.   As a flock, they had swooped down to save their beloved mother from the weasel and were flying her high up into the tree where she would be safe.

Henrietta’s babies had rescued her!

As she looked down from the tree, she saw the farmer standing below them grinning up at her.  At that moment Henrietta knew that her and her babies had never been left to wrangle with the weasel alone. The farmer had been watching out for them the entire time.  He had not forgotten about any of them…not for a moment, because farmers love their chickens and ducks!

At last, Henrietta understood why it was that the farmer had trusted her with those duck eggs. He had known all about her secret wish to fly.  He knew she would never be able to fly on her own, however he also knew that his faithful hen would never give up. He had counted on her and her dream of being able to fly to teach the orphaned wild ducklings to fly.  It was all of her wing flapping races with those ducklings across the barnyard over and over again that had strengthened their wings and enabled them to take flight.

Throughout the rest of her long and peaceful, flight-filled life, Henrietta never again felt unloved or unneeded.  She knew that was she was one very blessed, in a non-overly-busty way,  old hen.  For the very ducklings she had helped the farmer save, had saved her.  And, the wisdom of the farmer had saved them all.

Psalm 44:21 For he knows the secrets of the heart. 

Recipe: The Day My Dad Shot Elvis…Four Roosters and Chicken Pasta Fruit Salad

This is a great salad to serve during the summer months, and who doesn’t like a great chicken story.

The Swedish Farmer's Daughter

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Once upon a time on my dad’s farm lived four young roosters who needed names. A good name can make or break a soul in this world so when dad called me at 8 a.m.in the morning, while I was at work, and asked my assistance in selecting names for his roosters, I was honored.

Since I had never seen his new roosters, I asked him to describe them for me.

The first rooster was black, small for his age and the first to learn to crow. He really had a thing for the lady hens. His most distinguishing characteristic was the long feathers that hung down on either side of his beak like sideburns. We named him Elvis.

Then, dad explained he wanted his other roosters named after Civil War generals.  I am a Civil War buff, so he felt I would be the one to help him find appropriate military names. He stressed that the…

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RECIPES: An Angel of a Gluten-Free Strawberry Cream Pie!

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Fresh Minnesota strawberries have always been a favorite of mine.  As a child on the farm, I spent many hours, nose down, elbows up, with pink stained berry juiced lips, fingertips, and knees in our berry patch helping to fill bowls and my belly with fresh strawberries.

In addition to the threat of ravishment by predators such as hungry children, our berry patch was constantly under surveillance and in immediate peril from the farm’s chickens. I have often wondered why no one ever put a chicken wire fence around the berry patch to keep the chickens out, and have concluded that it was either because of the patch’s large size, it seemed like a lot of work to haul the small roll of chicken wire from the shed all the way across the lawn and find enough sticks to hold it up, it would be an eye sore, or that we all believed that grandma enjoyed chasing chickens with her broom and it was a good source of exercise for her.

Grandma’s broom protected, from friend and fowl alike, a berry patch that produced oodles of strawberries.  Many large mixing bowls and gallon ice cream buckets were filled everyday during the height of the season.  Berries that were not consumed fresh or used in a dessert became jam or were preserved by canning or freezing.

In addition to our farm producing lots of berries, we also seemed to have a never ending supply of heavy cream and eggs.  This recipe for Strawberry Angel Cream Pie calls for only five ingredients, eggs, sugar, cream of tartar, cream and strawberries….which makes it gluten-free.

Strawberry Angel Cream Pie

Preheat oven to 275 degrees.

Crust: 
4 egg whites
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1 cup of sugar

In a large stainless steel or glass mixing bowl, beat four egg whites and cream of tartar until frothy.  Gradually beat in, a little at a time, one cup of sugar.  Continue to beat until very stiff peaks form and meringue is glossy looking.   Spread meringue into the bottom and sides of a nine-inch pie pan.

Bake for 60 minutes.  Do not remove from oven.  Turn the oven off and leave the pie crust in the oven until completely cooled.

Filling: 

2 cups of heavy cream
1/4 cup of powdered sugar
1 cup of mashed fresh strawberries, sweetened to taste

In a medium-sized mixing bowl add two cups whipping cream.  With an electric mixer, beat until stiff. Add powdered sugar and mix to combine. Fold mashed fresh strawberries into the whipped cream.  Fold gently until the berries and cream are combined.  Pour into meringue pie shell and cool in refrigerator until ready to serve.

Garnish:

Fresh strawberries and/ or an additional cup of sweetened whipped cream.

Additional strawberry recipes on this blog:

Praise the Lord, Leukemia and Pass the Strawberries

Honey, I Miss You and Jamming with the Queen Bee

Father’s Day Breakfast “WOW!”: Strawberry Cheesecake French Toast

Impressive Father’s Day Dessert: Chocolate Strawberry Cream Puffs

Sweet Heat: Strawberry Jalapeno Jam

Something Old, Something New: Microwave and Crockpot Strawberry Jam Recipes

Taming the Wild Strawberry: Mary Lincoln’s Strawberry Jam Recipe

Picking Berries and Fresh Strawberry Dessert

Great Aunt Ida’s Fresh Strawberry Pie

 

The memory of picking ripe strawberries and eating them as God intended, right out of the patch and warmed by the sun, was such a pleasant one that I wanted to pass it on to my children.  So, every June, when the berries became ripe, we made our annual pilgrimage to one of our local growers to pick fresh strawberries.

Good memories and traditions rarely happen by accident.  Someone, at sometime, made a conscious decision to make an effort.  Always choose to make that effort for the children in your life.  Sharing your time with children is the most important thing that you can give them, in addition to your love.  

And, don’t forget to support our local growers! 

 

 

What is On My Mind Today: Blind Chicken?

 

The strutting rooster

Why on earth would anyone give my 84-year-old farmer father who is still a dead shot a blind chicken?

It cannot find its food or water.

My father has never been able to stand watching an animal suffer or pass up an opportunity for target practice when a shooting is called for. So, he is on his way out to the hen house right now with his 22 rifle to shoot the doomed old biddy.  It will be one clean shot to the head and he won’t miss.

Moral of story:  Don’t give blind chickens away. They can only eat and drink because they have memorized where their food and water are placed.  Giving blind chickens away to a farmer in Swede Grove township, Minnesota is a capital offense….for the chicken, and unfortunately not for the dumb ass who gave the poor hen to my dad.

Thor’s Stories: Leprechauns

There are eight different stories in this series about the ingenuity and adventures of a boy named Thor.  If you are looking for a few tales about Leprechauns to share on St. Patrick’s day,   Leprechauns tend to run amok in five of these stories.

Below are links to all of Thor’s adventures and a brief description of the story line.
I hope you and your children enjoy Thor’s Stories.

Morton the Squirrel and the Great Chicken Race.  Thor and Morton begin their battle for supremacy of the backyard when the rascally squirrel goes after the boy’s chickens.

Morton the Squirrel and the Mighty Explosion.  Grandpa Walter saves Thor from an overwhelming squirrel attack.

Thor and Grandpa Walter Find Blueberries and Bigfoot.  Thor and Grandpa Walter find more than just blueberries in the woods on Minnesota’s North Shore.

Thor and the Rooster Pirate King. This story tells about how leprechauns came to own the magic feather they keep in their hats.

The Midnight Dinosaur Rhubarb Rampage. Do your children know how to write in secret leprechaun code?  Thor will show you how in this tale of ingenuity and backyard mayhem.

The Dog with Magical Eyes.  Leprechauns sometimes can be just plain handy, especially when your dog is suffering from magical eyes.

Thor and the Troll Toll.  The King of the Leprechauns has no tolerance for bullies, especially troll ones.

Thor Saves Christmas.  Thor and the leprechauns come to the rescue when Santa’s elves all come down with Blue Snot Flu, 

Children’s Story: The Hen Who Wanted to Fly

Once upon a time there was a farmer.  On his farm lived many different kinds of animals.  He was a kind farmer and was always very good to his animals for he loved them very much. As fond as he was…

Source: Children’s Story: The Hen Who Wanted to Fly

Thor’s Stories: Thor and the Troll Toll

This is the next story in the saga of young Thor that I wrote two summers ago for my Grandson while I was in the midst of my cancer battle and awaiting remission and a stem cell transplant

In this story Thor learns about the power of love when he has to save his precious hens from a terrible old troll who oozes orange slime.

I have also included the recipe to make Metamucil’s slimy orange flubber.

I hope you enjoy Thor and the Troll Toll!

The Swedish Farmer's Daughter

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It all began with a splat against his bedroom window pane. The splat was Morton the Squirrel, Thor’s arch enemy. The squirrel was stuck to the window with gooey orange slime. Orange-slimed squirrels in the backyard known as “the jungle” could only mean one thing a garden troll was loose and oozing.

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Thor quickly ran to the window to take stock of the situation. What greeted his eyes was the face of Ned the one-horned troll drooling and dripping with orange spittle. This troll had eyes as black as midnight, a long nose and chin with hair growing out of his ears.  His ears deserve a special mention due to the fact that the big hairy things hung so low that they rested on his shoulders. The troll used to have two curly horns, but one was broken right off and so now he only had a lefty.

Normally, the leprechauns took care of Ned. They…

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Thor’s Stories: Thor and the Rooster Pirate King

Here is another Thor story that I wrote for my grandson, summer before last when I was going through chemotherapy and facing a stem cell transplant. I have cleaned up the typos I did not catch in the original copy. This story is about a mean rooster and good overcoming evil.

The Swedish Farmer's Daughter

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Thor and the Rooster Pirate King

Thor had just finished hooking up his video game controllers to play some Minecraft when he heard a sound that would send shivers down the spine of any suburban chicken raising human. He heard a rooster crowing in his backyard…known as the jungle.

This was no ordinary get out of your bed you lazy bones and meet the new day type of crowing.  It was a hale and hearty shiver me timbers type of yahoo that could only have been beak bugled by the great rooster pirate king–Red Beard.

The legend of the great rooster pirate king was quite well known to Thor. Stories about this foul fowl bully’s selfishness, meanness, dishonesty and stop at nothing quest for treasure had been told and retold around many a family’s camp fire.

As the legend was told, once you had seen the great rooster pirate king you would never forget him. Red Beard was easily recognized…

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Recipe: Purple Mountains Majesty and Grilled Chicken

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Montana mountains and wheat fields

Growing up on our farm grilling outside consisted of cutting and whittling lilac bush sticks with a jack knife into sharp little spears, then stabbing a coarsely ground skin-on wiener and roasting it over a very large outdoor fire made up of sticks, grass clippings and pine cones raked up after the most recent thunderstorm. This attention to recycling detail made us fully compliant with Swedish farmer’s commandment–waste not want not.

weiner roast

After roasting your wiener, it was then time to spear a couple of nice sweet soft white fluffy marshmallows onto your stick, hold them over the fire until they lit up like the 4th of July with at least a four-inch bright orange flame, chase a younger sibling around the yard with your sugar-fueled torch until either the fire burned itself out or your mother got her hands on you. Then, you very meekly, without smirking, ate the charred remains of the marshmallow.

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The simplicity of the wiener roast was the extent of our outdoor meat grilling for many generations. I suppose it wasn’t so much a lack of interest in protein dietary diversity preparation methods that had prevented an early introduction to marination and grilling of meat on the farm. I believe that this obvious missing link in the culinary evolution of animal muscle consumption techniques resulted not so much from a lack of interest in the subject matter, but moreover from a generalized adversity to further exposure to the daily elements of heat and humidity which would only be extended should external environment cooking methods be tried.  In other words, we liked eating tasty meat, but were just too darn hot to cook outdoors after a long day spent baking in farm fields. (Can you tell I used to write wordy confusing at times nonsensical copy for politicians.  LOL! )

The first grilled food I can remember tasting was during one of our annual trips to Great Falls, Montana to visit my Aunt Margie, Uncle Klynn, and cousins Debbie and Laurie. Their home was surrounded by neighbors, not fields, and there was a store closer to their house than the barn was to ours where you could buy Popsicles for a nickle. If you couldn’t walk the short distance to the store, there was a brightly colored van chiming the song, “Pop Goes the Weasel” that stopped and sold ice cream treats right in front of their house. I knew right then, that the big city held marvels such as I had never experienced on the farm.

Uncle Klynn was an accomplished architect and designed several major buildings in the state of Montana.  He was also the first man I had ever seen wear short pants and open toed shoes…without socks!   The man was a revolutionary.  For no matter how high the heat or humidity on the farm, the men folk always wore long pants.  They even wore long pants when we went fishing. In addition to being fashion forward, my Montana uncle was also the first adult male I had ever seen cook–he used a Weber grill in his backyard.

It was at Uncle Klynn’s home that I first tasted grilled meat.  Grilled hamburgers were a revelation, but what remains foremost in my mind’s eye and taste buds was when he grilled chicken and once even a whole turkey.  Not only did he grill the poultry, but all that deliciousness was basted with tangy sauces–none of which were white. What a shock it was to my young mind that there were more sauces in this world than Swedish white sauce, ketchup and mustard.

Montana’s snow capped mountains and Uncle Klynn’s  poultry grilling expertise opened up a whole new world for me.  The discovery of  a land with endless vistas of striped golden wheat-filled plains abutting purple mountains majesty was just a little more exciting than discovering that were a variety of cooking sauces. From that time on poultry became so much more than something to feed, butcher, pluck, freeze, casserole, bake and fry. Chickens and turkeys could be turned into saucy barbecued masterpieces of culinary delight!

Lime Marinated Grilled Chicken with Mango Salsa

Mango Salsa:
2 mangoes, peeled and diced into small cubes
½ red bell pepper, finely chopped
½ cup orange juice
juice of 2 limes
3 Tablespoons of minced fresh basil
salt and ground pepper to taste

In a medium-sized bowl add the diced mangos, bell peppers, lime and orange juices, salt and pepper and the basil.  This mixture should be covered and refrigerated for 2-3 hours before serving.

Marinade:
2 Tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed
2 Tablespoons frozen limeade concentrate, thawed
½ teaspoon salt
ground pepper to taste

1 chicken cut up for grilling, or 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts.

 Line the inside of a large mixing bowl with an unzipped, 1- gallon Ziplock bag.  Next, added the marinade ingredients of salt, pepper, limeade and orange juice.  Zip bag shut and mix ingredients together.  Open bag and put in the chicken.  Take out as much air out of the bag as possible without spilling the marinade and zip bag shut. Let the chicken marinate in the refrigerator for 2-3 hours.  (Always marinate chicken in the refrigerator to prevent food borne illness.)

Heat the grill and adjust the rack for proper cooking.  Grill the chicken until brown and the juices run clear.  (Do not under cook chicken, if you do, you are just sending an invitation to a nasty food borne illness to attend your barbecue.)

Serve chicken topped with the mango salsa, and sides of cold salads.

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Wheat fields of Montana 

 

Recipe: The Day My Dad Shot Elvis…Four Roosters and Chicken Pasta Fruit Salad

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Once upon a time on my dad’s farm lived four young roosters who needed names. A good name can make or break a soul in this world so when dad called me at 8 a.m.in the morning, while I was at work, and asked my assistance in selecting names for his roosters, I was honored.

Since I had never seen his new roosters, I asked him to describe them for me.

The first rooster was black, small for his age and the first to learn to crow. He really had a thing for the lady hens. His most distinguishing characteristic was the long feathers that hung down on either side of his beak like sideburns. We named him Elvis.

Then, dad explained he wanted his other roosters named after Civil War generals.  I am a Civil War buff, so he felt I would be the one to help him find appropriate military names. He stressed that the generals’ names had to be ones that he could remember.

I asked him to describe the other birds.  One he said had dark red feathers, one was as golden yellow as ripe corn and the last one was speckled white and black.

For the red rooster I suggested the name Sherman as General William T. Sherman had red hair.  Well, no, dad said, he’d never be able to remember that.  So, I suggested General Grant?  Nope, that one was too hard to remember, too.  What about General Lyon for the yellow rooster? Why, you could just call him Lyon seeing how he’s yellow  I patiently explained. Well, no, that wouldn’t work at all, because nobody had ever heard of this Union General Nathaniel Lyon and he’d never remember the name anyways.

The minute I heard the colors of those roosters, and knowing my dad, I knew where we were headed.  I had learned the lesson long ago that no matter how much you wish it could be different sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and accept the inevitable.

“Well, dad, how about Geronimo for the red rooster and Custer for the yellow one?” I suggested. With a shout of excitement he said that would be perfect.  We never did name the big black and white speckled rooster.

Roosters on a farm have short lifespans. It is not because they are good eating or too loud. Most roosters as they mature become aggressive. Some abuse their hens. The abuse can become so severe that the hens can die when their feathers get stripped completely off by the sharp talons on the rooster’s feet.  Where an aggressive rooster roams no living thing is safe from attack, not livestock, pets or people.

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Shortly after naming the roosters, I traveled out to the farm to see my dad’s new chicken flock.  There were over a dozen hens and yes, those roosters sure were handsome lads.  My favorite was Custer, the big yellow one.  I am convinced that a more beautiful rooster has never walked this earth.  He was big and his yellow feathers shimmered like molten gold when he strutted his stuff before those hens in the sunlight.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA                 A watercolor portrait I painted of Custer that hangs on my dining room wall. 

That was the one and only time that I saw all those boy birds together.  Only a couple of weeks after my visit the rooster curse descended.

Very early one morning, not too long after my farm visit, my office phone rang.  As I picked up the receiver I heard my mother’s sad voice loudly announce, “YOUR father has just shot Elvis!”

I must admit hearing that first thing in the morning on your work phone when you are press secretary for a state constitutional officer, took me by surprise.  But, not as much as when dad had called me a few years back when I worked for the state legislature to inform me that, “Your brother has a huge beaver problem.”  When I started to laugh really hard he in no uncertain terms reminded me that “I am still your father!” (Their beaver problem was the result of a beaver dam flooding several fields.  Since, my job at that time was a constituent services representative for the state legislature, he had actually had called the right person and our Department of Natural Resources happily took care of his “beaver problem”.)

After I quit chuckling about the announcement of Elvis’s demise, I asked why?Mom explained in great and vivid detail that Elvis had become too randy with the hens and just wouldn’t leave them alone. He had stripped some of those poor female chickens almost naked of feathers. To protect the hens from domestic abuse…he had to go.

About a month after that mom called again.  “Well, your father just shot Geronimo.”  I was very sorry to hear that, because he was a beautiful bird. She went on to explain that Geronimo was constantly chasing her around the yard and attacking her.  Try as she might to ward off his attacks with grandpa’s antique golf clubs, she was all bruised up from his sharp beak bites.  Dad never kept any animal on the farm that attacked a human…friend or fowl.  He had to go.

I tried to comfort mom by reminding her that they still had two roosters. She grimly responded that they only had one.  So, I asked,”What happened to the other rooster?” She told me to talk to my father and handed him the phone.  He told me he still had my favorite rooster Custer and that he was a good rooster nice to the hens and a good pet. When I asked him what happened to the big unnamed black and white speckled rooster, my dad, who has farmed for over 70 years, in a voice dripping with disgust growled, “He laid an egg and is nothing but a big fat hen!”

It was almost the end of summer and the chickens were now big enough to freely roam the yard, which can be good or bad. The good is the great improvement in the quality and taste of the eggs. There is really nothing better to eat, cook  or bake with than eggs from chickens who dine on bugs and dandelions. The yolks get almost orange. The bad is that there is chicken poop everywhere on the ground, on machinery, on porches and warm and squishy between your bare toes.

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It seemed that good times had finally arrived for the farm’s chicken operation. While dad and mom were busy farming, the chickens enjoyed their freedom and laid plenty of eggs. Not always in the nest provided in the hen house, however.

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Farming is hard and losing your animals is always tough, it is even harder when the loss is cruel and the result of someone else’s neglect. My dad came home from town one day only to find that a pack of loose dogs had gotten into the chicken fence and killed almost all of his birds.  He was really upset. “All of my beautiful hens are gone! They tore them up!  My poor girls,” he shouted. “I only have a couple hens left and Custer!”

It is not uncommon for farmers to lend out their male animals for breeding.  Custer was such a very beautiful bird that after seeing him another farmer asked dad if he could borrow him for a short time for his flock.  Dad thought it would be great to have a bunch of little golden chicks from his rooster running around so Custer was sent off to procreate.

One morning, shortly after he arrived to service his new harem, the farmer found not only Custer missing, but his whole flock of chickens were gone.  He searched for quite awhile for the lost birds then he spied a bright yellow spot a long way off on the side of a bare hill in one of his fields.  When he approached the spot, he found what remained of the carnage of a terrible chicken massacre.

Bald Eagles had attacked the flock.  To kill a big chicken they swoop down, pick up the chicken with their talons, carry them up high and then drop them.  Chickens cannot fly and the fall kills them.  There on the side of that lonely hill Custer had died defending his hens.  He and his entire flock had been wiped out by great eagles.  Dad was sad to tell me that my favorite rooster had died, but he was mighty proud of Custer’s last stand.

Chicken Pasta Fruit Salad

2 cups of cooked chicken cut into bite-sized pieces.  ( I use a whole chicken or four chicken breasts. Do not ever allow chicken skin to get into a cold salad.)
1 teaspoon of salt
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1 1/2 cups of green grapes, sliced in half
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
1/2 cup slivered almonds
1-20 ounce can of pineapple chunks, completely drained
2 cups of cooked shell pasta

Dressing:
1 1/2 cups of mayonnaise
juice of one lemon
1 Tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon of celery seed
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Gently combine salad ingredients together in a large mixing bowl.

In a small bowl whisk the dressing ingredients together.  Taste dressing to make sure that it meets with your approval. Adjust tartness by adding more lemon.  If too tart add small amounts of sugar.

Pour dressing over salad ingredients and toss together to coat.  Refrigerate for several hours until well chilled.  Serve.

This recipe makes about six servings as an entree.