Morton the Squirrel and the Mighty Explosion
It was a warm Saturday afternoon, when Thor became distracted from his Minecraft video play by the sound of wolf howling. Tossing down his controller, he races to the bathroom window for a good look through his binoculars into his backyard…otherwise known as the jungle. It didn’t take him long locate the source of the noise….it was the wild wolf of the jungle…his dog Rex who has the magical eyes of blue and one of brown. Morton the curious squirrel, his arch enemy, and an army of squirrels had encircled Rex’s cave…and mud hole…taken him captive and hoisted their squirrel flag of victory over Rex’s home.
From all the continued squirrel activity it looked like those squirrels planned to expand their invasion towards the chicken coop…no doubt looking to steal the chicken’s grain for a tasty snack and ride the chickens in races. They had now formed a dance line and were shouting bad Squirrel words like igpado, chipaturd and toeahick at Thor while wiggling their butts in his face in disrespect. Thor was beginning to wonder if Morton was French. Now, they had tackled Rex down and were rubbing mud from the mud hole into his white fur. Rex started howling louder signaling to Thor that he needed a rescue and fast.
Knowing that he had to save his dog and stop this bedlam in the backyard, Thor quickly raced to his room to pull on his rubber boots. Next, he put on his protective eye gear, grabbed his jet powered squirt gun and some balloons. Then just as he was leaving the house, he remembered to go back and grab a toothbrush, toothpaste and a clothes pin and slipped them into the back pocket of his pants.
He got to the great wall that held the gateway to the jungle. He slowly opened the gate, keeping eyes peels for his enemies when gate’s hinges squeaked and he heard Morton yell, “To your battle stations, Thor’s coming at last!”
Looking to the left and then to his right, Thor knew he had to make a break for the hose. He fired his power squirt gun as he ran to keep the squirrels from rushing him. Once to the hose, he realized how lucky he was that his dad had left the wheelbarrow up by the hose. He quickly tipped it on its side to use it for cover from the acorns flying at him from those squirrel sling shots. He then ducked behind the wheelbarrow and began making his water balloon bombs.
Just as he was almost ready to begin his counterattack, they rushed him. Thor unloaded on them with his power squirt gun and water balloon bombs. Then, he ran towards his tree fort for a better launching point for those bombs. He almost made it when his foot got tangled in the dreaded squirrel braided rhubarb rope lasso trap trick and went down with a thud. Morton sensing victory wasted no time in jumping onto Thor’s back hollering, “we got him now boys.”
Thor fought bravely, but he was too outnumbered by superior forces with no help from re-enforcements insight with Rex being taken captive. And, the chickens were no help, because they are chickens after all.
Those squirrels quickly tied him up with the rhubarb rope. Then, they started the dreaded squirrel torture…the tickle. First, they started by tickling Thor’s nose with their tails…their butts were right in his face! Then, Morton saw the tooth brush in Thor’s back pocket and before Thor knew it those squirrels had ripped off his boots and were ticking his pearly white feet with the toothbrush.
Just then, the gate of the great wall opened and closed. The squirrels all stopped their naughty business and looked at who and entered the jungle. It was a huge scary giant who just stood there and roared, “I love eating squirrel brains!”
Then, the giant slowly lifted one foot and when it hit the ground the loud explosion shook the earth like and earthquake as the wind from it shook the leaves and green apples off the trees. The squirrels fur was all blown straight back from their faces and their tails got stretched out like a cat’s from the force of the blast.
Thor got his hands free and quickly put the clothes pin over his nose, as the stench from Grandpa Walter’s master fart reached him. It completely rendered all of the squirrels unconscious they tipped over like little falling trees and toppled like pins in a bowling alley…including Morton. Nobody knows how to clear out a crowd like Grandpa Walter.
Grandpa Walter picked up each unconscious squirrel by the tail and pitched them one by one over the fence and told them to go home to their mommas and never come back or he’d eat beans and tacos before he came next time. Only Morton was left. When he turned around he saw Morton’s mom Ol’ Betts in the tree shaking her head at Morton.
Morton was waking up, but he didn’t see his mom and he started to call Thor naughty squirrel words again. Thor grabbed that squirrel by the tail to give him the treatment squirrels hate the most…a good bath. He stuck him the bird bath and scrubbed him good with toothpaste until that squirrel smelled minty fresh. Then, Thor got his tooth brush to scrub the naughty words out of Morton’s mouth, when he was interrupted by Ol’ Betts Morton’s mom. “Allow me,” was all she said. Then she rigorously brushed those naughty words right out of her son’s mouth.
After allowing Thor to hang Morton on the clothesline by his ears to dry out, she then put Morton over her shoulder and carried him back up the tree to their home for a time out. He needed to learn the lesson that there is a big difference between a fair fight and being a little bully.
Thor was sure glad that it was Saturday and Grandpa Walter had to come save him from Morton and his squirrel gang with the mighty explosion. After they gave Rex a bath and got all of the mud out of his white spots. Thor’s Dad came home and asked what he had been doing all day. Thor responded as usual, “Oh, nothing, much.” Thor’s dad wondered about the tipped over wheelbarrow, the broken balloons all over the yard, the rhubarb twisted all over the ground, Thor’s toothbrush and toothpaste in the bird bath and why Thor still had on protective eye gear and a clothes pin on his nose.
As they were all walking to the house together, Grandpa Walter just said, “That boy needs a new toothbrush.”