Grandma Pat Letters: Cat Warfare…A Very, Very Bad Cat!


Dear Kids,

Hope you are having a great week. Christmas vacation is always a good time.  I really enjoyed our time together this week!

This week’s edition of “Cat Warfare” is the mustached “Herr Hitler Cat.”  Not only did this unfortunate cat look like Adolf Hitler, but he was a bad decision maker and actually hung out with guy.  Always, remember you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you cannot pick your friend’s nose or your relatives. It is important to pick good friends, you don’t want any like this guy, because Adolf Hitler was a very, very bad cat!

Hitler started World War II in Europe.  Later the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, but that is another story. However, Hitler started the war in Europe in 1939 when he invaded the country of Poland.   He lied about Poland attacking Germany, then invaded them.  Some people’s kids!

World War II lasted from 1939 until Germany surrendered in 1945. Over 100 million people from 30 countries fought in this war. Over 61 million soldiers and civilians died, including over 6 million Jewish people who Hitler ordered killed in death camps.  Some of these camps killed tens of thousands of people each day.

Hitler was a believer in an idea called eugenics. This is probably the worst idea ever thought up.  This idea said that if you killed off the weak, sick, different and especially the Jewish…you could create a master race.  Whether it was through abortion, mercy killing or outright murder people who did not fit into Hitler’s plan were killed.

I will tell you right now grandson, that God alone is the giver and taker of life.  He created all humans equal and he intends that they should all be treated the same with kindness. Hurting anyone because they are different than you or because you want their stuff is always wrong. A civilized society can be measured by how it takes care of its weakest members. Being created in the image of God and civilized is the only thing that separates humans from animals. Politeness and kindness count.

Hitler ruled Germany with an iron fist with a government style called a dictatorship. During Hitler’s reign of terror there were no elections and disagreeing politely with him was not tolerated either.  There is an old saying that nothing corrupts as absolutely as absolute power and dictatorships prove that point.  This principle never applies to mothers and grandmothers though.

His secret police, called the Gestapo, kept the entire population living in total fear.  No one knew when there would be a knock on the door at night and a person would disappear never to be seen again.  Spies were everywhere.  Children spied on parents, parents spied on children.  Everywhere spies were watching their neighbors.  Any cat could be ratted out at any time.

However, as supreme ruler Hitler was popular with the ladies. They cheered for him like he was a movie star.  Even his silly little mustache became high fashion.  I will tell you how he got that mustache, it wasn’t his genius for looking goofy, but an act of war.

Hitler was a soldier during World War I and was a victim of a poisonous bomb gas attack.  Poisonous gas attacks were used in battle for the first time during the First World War. They were so very deadly to soldiers fighting in trench warfare, but that is another story.  The gas attack on Hitler did cause him to go blind for a bit.  After he regained only his sight, not his right mind, he shaved off the edges of his big mustache until his mustache was so small that his gas mask could fit over it.  That is why he only had whiskers under his nose.

Enemy poisonous gas attacks were not the only gas attacks Hitler feared.  The man was constantly farting!  Not a joke, just fact. He was a strict vegetarian, which he thought would help control his flatulence, but it only made it worse. He took all kinds of medicine to stop his farting, including pills filled with poop.

Hitler was also a great animal lover and that was another reason he did not eat meat or hunt.  What a guy, save the animals…kill the people.

In the end, especially his, he really was just a rotten old stinker.

Hope you have a great week.  Say hi to your mom and dad.

Lots of love and hugs,

Grandma Pat





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