A Recipe for President
Begin making your president by mixing 1/3 cup each of administrative, political and military experience. Cream together with 1 cup of leadership experience and honesty.
Be sure to add several spoonfuls of constitutional understanding before you balance kindness and strength with equal amounts of law and order, national security, social justice and deficit reduction. Add large amounts of commonsense and faith in God, then knead in courage. (Presidential dough can be tricky and will spoil quickly if contaminated by political correctness, racism, sexism, rashness or excessive arrogance.)
Place presidential dough in a large bowl of equality, cover with a well-used but clean cloth of liberty and let dough rise in a warm place away from big money donors and lobbyists until double in size. When doubled in size punch down hard with truth, humility and self-reflection to release inflated ego. This step must not be skipped otherwise your dough will lack integrity.
Bake in a good natured pan. Set electoral college timer and bake until you reach a majority. When cool, but before inaugurating, make a glaze of thankfulness moistened with the sudden tears of heartfelt sympathy. Do not garnish with any nuts. Serve to the greatest nation in the world.