1998 Christmas Letter: A Classic

cartoon Christmas

Dear Family, Friends and neighbors that I’m speaking to:

This year has been a very exciting year for us. First of all, Rory got planters warts. Not just little ones but great big infected ones. We took her to a specialist who, treated them by turning the warts into huge puss filled blisters. Boy were they ugly. I haven’t seen foot problems like that since the early l980’s when,  Great-Aunt Hilda bared those size 13’s and shared her bunions. Of course her bunions were a purplish hue while Rory’s blisters were a bright green. Then too bunions don’t ooze. The very next week after the bungled wart removal the poor child broke her arm. She chose a green cast to match those blisters. Color coordination is a social requirement that saves us all from visual anarchy.

Cole still fills our lives with the special joy he always has. Super achiever and as ambitious always, he was suspended from school this year for mooning. While his buns have been de-breached, his pride remains intact and he denies everything. That young man’s political potential is positively limitless.

Doug is going for his second demotion this year and I am lending him my “full support.” He feels that any further contact with the public could cause him to pile drive the next person that contradicts him in to the floor. Obviously, Cole gets his political acumen from his ol’ man. Doug has always felt that he is an inspiration to mankind but has no current plans for higher office, until his demotion goals has been achieved, and rightly so. He’s a good kisser and I could do a lot worse.

Crystal our loving and devoted family pet still has a leaking bladder that can soak a bath towel.

Because of bad hips and insomnia, whining to get into bed is heard all night long. Doug hates it when I wake up the dog.

I always like to share a verse or two of scripture with loved ones during the holidays. Proverbs 6:6 Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.

Here’s to sharing the joy of our home with yours.

Happy Holidays

Pat and Doug


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