After a week of medical tests, bone biopsies and classes on the stem cell process. I now am in a holding pattern for my stem cell transplant, because of a condition I was told a month ago would go away and yesterday I found out it is an infection. Then, after this gets resolved my bone marrow biopsy wasn’t quite as clean as the doctor wanted it to be so I get to have one more round of chemo….then right to transplant.
I plan to torture this cancer of mine as much as it has tortured me. Another round of chemo should really knock it down for awhile and I plan to wholeheartedly participate in that effort. It’s time for me to get a few hits in, in this boxing match!
For someone whose family has no real history of cancer and who promised her Grandmother Esther, and kept her word, when I was a teenager that I would never smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs or have sex outside of marriage there are days when it pains me greatly the unfairness of someone who has lead a healthy lifestyle having cancer twice.
Cancer can take away so much, but it gives the gift of living now. After having cancer when I was so young, I have never had the luxury of not living in the moment. I don’t put off for tomorrow what I can do today. I have always told and shown people that I love them. I will do without so that others can have. I made people choices instead of material choices and never missed an opportunity to be with my children when they were young. I always tried to show kindness to others even when it was not deserved. I have seen mountains, beautiful lakes and watched my children grow into wonderful adults. I have held a grandchild. I have been loved by the same man for 37 years and he truly loves me with all his heart everyday.
I may be only 55 years old and have cancer again, but I am so very blessed by God. Everyday, I ask him to bless each and every one of you that has prayed for me and to keep you healthy and safe. I thank God everyday that he gave me the opportunity to live in the first place and has carried me through the tough times. Like my favorite Psalm says, “Weeping my endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” I believe that he will heal me and will rejoice with me when that joyous time arrives….just saying.